When we hope to swipe right into happiness:):)

We want a second coffee cup in our Instagrams of lazy Saturday mornings, another pair of shoes in our artsy pictures of our feet. We want a Facebook official relationship every one can like and comment on, we want the social media post that wins #relationshipgoals. We want a date for Sunday morning brunch, someone to commiserate with during the drudge of Mondaze, a Taco Tuesday partner, someone to text us good morning on Wednesday. We want a plus one for all the weddings we keep getting invited to (how did they do it? How did they find their happily ever after?). But we are the generation who doesn’t want a relationship.

We swipe left in hopes of finding the right person. We try to special order our soulmate like a request on Postmates. We read 5 Ways to Know He’s Into You and 7 Ways to Get Her to Fall For You, in hopes of being able to upcycle a person into a relationship like a Pinterest project. We invest more time in our Tinder profiles than our personalities. Yet we don’t want a relationship.

We “talk” and we text, we Snapchat and we sext. We hangout and we happy hour, we go to coffee and grab a beer – anything to avoid an actual date. We private message to meet up, we small talk for an hour only to return home and small talk via text. We forgo any chance of achieving real connection by mutually playing games with no winner. Competing for “Most Detached”, “Biggest Apathetic Attitude”, and “Best at Being Emotionally Unavailable”, what we end up actually winning is “Most Likely to Be Alone”.

We want the façade of a relationship, but we don’t want the work of a relationship. We want the hand holding without the eye contact, the teasing without the serious conversations. We want the pretty promise without the actual commitment, the anniversaries to celebrate without the 365 days of work that leads up to them. We want the happily ever after, but we don’t want to put the effort in the here and now. We want the deep connection, while keeping things shallow. We long for that world series kind of love, without being willing to go to bat.

We want someone to hold our hand, but we don’t want to put the power to hurt us in their hands. We want cheesy pick up lines, but we don’t want to be picked up… for that involves the possibility of being set down. We want to be swept off our feet, yet at the same time remaining safely, independently, standing on our own. We want to keep chasing the idea of love, but we don’t want to actually fallinto it.

We don’t want relationships – we want friends with benefits, Netflix and chill, nudes on Tinder. We want anything that will give us the illusion of a relationship, without being in an actual relationship. We want all the rewards and none of the risk, all of the payout and none of the cost. We want to connect – enough, but not too much. We want to commit – a little, but not a lot. We take it slow: we see where it goes, we don’t label things, we just hang out. We keep one foot out the door, we keep one eye open, and we keep people at arm’s length - toying with their emotions but most of all toying with our own.

When things get too close to being real, we run. We hide. We leave. There’s always more fish in the sea. There’s always another chance at finding love. There’s just such a little chance of keeping it these days…

We hope to swipe right into happiness. We want to download the perfect fit like a new app - that can be updated every time there’s a hitch, easily compartmentalized into a folder, deleted when we have no more use for it. We don’t want to unpack our baggage – or, worse, help someone unpack theirs. We want to keep the ugly behind the coverup, hide the imperfections with an Instagram filter, choose another episode on Netflix over a real conversation. We like the idea of loving someone despite their flaws; yet we keep our skeletons locked in the closet, happy to never let them see the light of day.

We feel entitled to love, like we feel entitled to full time jobs out of college. Our trophies-for-everyone youth has taught us that if we want something, we deserve it. Our over-watched Disney VHSs taught us true love, soul mates, and happily ever after exist for everyone. And so we put in no effort, and wonder why our prince charming hasn’t appeared. We sit around, upset that our princess is no where to be found. Where is our consolation prize? We showed up, we’re here. Where’s the relationship we deserve? The true love we’ve been promised?

We want a placeholder, not a person. We want a warm body, not a partner. We want someone to sit on the couch next to us, as we aimlessly scroll through another newsfeed, open another app to distract us from our lives. We want to walk this middle line: pretending we don’t have emotions while wearing our heart on our sleeve, wanting to be needed by someone yet not wanting to need someone. We play hard to get just to test if someone will play hard enough – we don’t even fully understand it ourselves. We sit around with friends discussing the rules, but no one even knows the game we’re trying to play. Because the problem with our generation not wanting relationships is that, at the end of the day, we actually do.

Be focused, keep the faith n hope n make it happen!!.

Recently, I  read a motivational story. I really found it meaningful & thought to keep in my blogs to share with my frenz.

The pregnant deer - A beautiful motivational story

In a forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth.

She finds a remote grass field near a strong-flowing river.

This seems a safe place.

Suddenly labour pains begin.

At the same moment, dark clouds gather around above & lightning starts a forest fire.

She looks to her left & sees a hunter with his bow extended pointing at her.

To her right, she spots a hungry lion approaching her.

What can the pregnant deer do?

She is in labour!

What will happen?

Will the deer survive?

Will she give birth to a fawn?

Will the fawn survive?

Or will everything be burnt by the forest fire?

Will she perish to the hunters’ arrow?

Will she die a horrible death at the hands of the hungry lion approaching her?

She is constrained by the fire on the one side & the flowing river on the other & boxed in by her natural predators.

What does she do?

She focuses on giving birth to a new life.

The sequence of events that follows are:

- Lightning strikes & blinds the hunter.

- He releases the arrow which zips past the deer & strikes the hungry lion.

- It starts to rain heavily, & the forest fire is slowly doused by the rain.

- The deer gives birth to a healthy fawn.

In our life / business too, there are moments of choice when we are confronted on αll sides with negative thoughts and possibilities.

Some thoughts are so powerful that they overcome us & overwhelm us.

Maybe we can learn from the deer.

The priority of the deer, in that given moment, was simply to give birth to a baby.

The rest was not in her hands & any action or reaction that changed her focus would have likely resulted in death or disaster.

Ask yourself,

Where is your focus?

Focus should always remain on faith and hope. Faith & hope itself creates positive energy which keeps us focus and make our dream come true!!!

Agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaaho to puri kayanat usey tumse milane ki koshish mein lag jaati hai... :)

Allow your intuition to save you...

 I recently came across an article by OPRAH WINFREY about men. The article really portray the character of man a woman should have in her life. I could relate to it very closely.  Each fact mentioned in the article seem to be based on real life experience of various relationship. I feel it is worth keeping in my blog &  sharing with my female friends:

 If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

 Avoid men who have a bunch of relationships with  different women. Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are. Even if he has has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. 

Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. All men are NOT dogs. 

You should not be the one doing all the bending... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone complimentary... not supplementary. 

Dating is fun... Even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes... When a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him ~ he takes it for granted. Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful.... You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts.

Is GOD good ?

Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son ?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, you believe in GOD ?
Student : Absolutely, sir.
Professor : Is GOD good ?
Student : Sure.
Professor: Is GOD all powerful ?
Student : Yes.
Professor: My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent.)
Professor: You can’t answer, can you ? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD good?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Is satan good ?
Student : No.
Professor: Where does satan come from ?
Student : From … GOD …
Professor: That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
Student : Yes.
Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn’t it ? And GOD did make everything. Correct?
Student : Yes.
Professor: So who created evil ?
(Student did not answer.)
Professor: Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don’t they?
Student : Yes, sir.
Professor: So, who created them ?
(Student had no answer.)
Professor: Science says you have 5 Senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son, have you ever seen GOD?
Student : No, sir.
Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD?
Student : No , sir.
Professor: Have you ever felt your GOD, tasted your GOD, smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any sensory perception of GOD for that matter?
Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t.
Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
Student : Yes.
Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son?
Student : Nothing. I only have my faith.
Professor: Yes, faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as heat?
Professor: Yes.
Student : And is there such a thing as cold?
Professor: Yes.
Student : No, sir. There isn’t.
(The lecture theater became very quiet with this turn of events.)
Student : Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don’t have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There was pin-drop silence in the lecture theater.)
Student : What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn’t darkness?
Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light. But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it’s called darkness, isn’t it? In reality, darkness isn’t. If it is, well you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn’t you?
Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man ?
Student : Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.
Professor: Flawed ? Can you explain how?
Student : Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good GOD and a bad GOD. You are viewing the concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing.
Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
Professor: If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.
Student : Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going.)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor. Are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class was in uproar.)
Student : Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The class broke out into laughter. )
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable.)
Professor: I guess you’ll have to take them on faith, son.
Student : That is it sir … Exactly ! The link between man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that keeps things alive and moving.
P.S.
I believe you have enjoyed the conversation. And if so, you’ll probably want your friends / colleagues to enjoy the same, won’t you?
Forward this to increase their knowledge … or FAITH.

By the way, that student was ALBERT EINSTEIN.

Coz, Every voice counts!!!!!!!!!

Every day, most of us have faced it & raised voice against it but lastly bow-down helplessly and became part of it.

Indeed it is matter of concern!!  There is immense corruption spread across in our country however there is no sign of getting rid of it!!!!!!!!!!!

We have evergreen season of scams in the country. We have witnessed Bofors, 2 G spectrums, Adarshas, Common Wealth Games and so many small and big scams littered all over the social spectrum. What drives corrupt tendencies in our society? Well, as I see the reasons emerge from two main sources, one is the deep sense of insecurity about the future for most of the Indians, financially speaking and the other certainly is the incidences of glorification of neo-rich! We forgot Mahatma Gandhi who said that end may be important but the means to achieve the end is more important. Yes, we have forgotten that earning money is important for survival and growth but the way it is to be done has also to be in line with the acceptable social norms.

But who listens and follows these rational words instead the people are becoming followers of the slogan is, earn and earn money, whatever way you can!!!!

We have mafia’s in almost each sector -estate mafia, Education mafia, Health services mafia and what not.

We learn that the black money stashed away in foreign banks can finance India's 5 year plan, that it can feed the below poverty line Indians for 10 years ,that there would be no adverse effect even if no income tax is levied for 30 years ,that India would be able to pay off its entire debt , in one go , that India , even after paying off its debt will not need further loans for the next five years ,and the list of goodies goes on.


A large chunk of the money meant to be spent for developing backward regions are finding their ways into the unusually deep pockets of the bureaucrats and the politicians, resulting rising the naxalite menace.

If corruption graph will keep on rising like this, then it will be no wonder we will soon witness a stage being currently witnessed in some Arabian countries, notable in Egypt.

Can we do something about it….?

It doesn’t require any magic stick, but as like it is done elsewhere-  is to legislate stringent punishment for corruption.

Corruption is like Cancer and & leaders like Anna is only trying to cure it but it can be eradicated only if WE all do our bit by not being a part of the corrupt system. I know it is easier said than done, as we all face bottlenecks when getting any work done the legitimate way; But Friends, try to be firm and restrain from bribing.

Morever, it is the high time to come together in one voice to put in place an effective anti -corruption system in place. Coz, Every voice counts!!

JAI HIND !!!!

Rashmi Rathwal's blog: Secret to live a happy, passionate life!!!!!

Rashmi Rathwal's blog: Secret to live a happy, passionate life!!!!!: "I observed many times that we live life with no courage/ passion, remain in pain & sorrow ---------------- Are we bored with life or not a..."

Secret to live a happy, passionate life!!!!!

I observed many times that we live life with no courage/ passion, remain in pain & sorrow ----------------Are we bored with life or not able to cope up with situations?

Just thinking .....how to enrich our life with passion,courage and happiness..

It will be a good way that we involve ourselves into some work that we believe-in with all our heart, live for it, die for it, and we will find happiness that we had thought could never be ours.

Another, I would say every time we make an excuse and blame something or someone else, we’re giving away our power....coz beneath every excuse lives a fear. Work on moving through that fear and release our excuses.

Moreover,  we need to find the time to expose ourself to great food, great art, great conversations, great beauty so that we enjoy the process of life.

Lastly, we should keep expectation level very low in our relationship. The one thing that shatters relationships and ruins friendships more than any other is expectations. When we say that someone is not meeting our ‘needs’, we usually mean that he/she is not living up to our expectations. True needs are very few, but expectations are limitless.

When a person’s behaviour does not match our expectations,we can try to change their behaviour, or we could let go of your expectations. The first is an exercise in frustration and causes untold damage to relationships. The second is also difficult, but possible and worthwhile. Learn to let go.....

I am learning to let them go......how about you.....?????